MISSION POSSIBLE-HOW TO MANAGE DIFFICULT PEOPLE

Peevish Boss or Crabby colleague?  Grumpy neighbor or cranky partner?  What are you suffering from? Whether  you are in office, market, home, road, shop, school or in any other part of this world, this category is ‘infectious’!

An obnoxious character tends to affect and tarnish everybody around. This  

often leaves us in a peculiar predicament, where neither we want to face them nor can overlook. So is there any way out to get through such an unlikable situation with peace and grace?  Here are some quick tips to help you think twice before any 

unwanted person or situation pisses you off.

•  Use an assertive communication when a person treats you in an unacceptable way.
•  Try and keep your conversation neutral.
•   If the situation has really worsened and you feel its time to maintain a distance, then do so and let them know why. However, don’t seek to avoid them.  What matters is your attitude.
• Don’t take any comment personally and try not to be defensive. Arguing back, defending or any kind of justification (at that particular time) can often lead to both parties becoming more entrenched.
• Don’t keep thinking about such people all the time. Concentrate on things and people that inspire you.
• Silence could be an effective tool when dealing with any complex personality. If you ignore them, they lose influence.
• Develop and uphold a good sense of wit.

• Always stay calm, never cry and don’t involve yourself in any kind of ugly argument because all this is only going to add fuel to fire. Defuse them by ignoring or looking away or may be starting any other conversation.
• It would be unwise to join them in playing blame games or stooping low. All this will only stimulate them.

“Every moment that you spend upset, in despair, in anguish angry or hurt because of the behavior of anybody else in your life is a moment in which you have given up control of your life”

-Wayne Dyer

So your self respect and self esteem is in your hands. And so there is no use of being loud or harsh.  Act normally in any tricky situation. No need to appease or change such people. Just change the way you look at the situation- be calm, firm, honest and humble. Respond with your own optimistic expectation.

NEVER GIVE UP!!

“In the school of life, difficult people are the faculty. They teach us our most important spiritual lessons that we would be most unlikely to learn on our own”

-Mark I. Rosen 

COLOR MAGIC WITH FENG SHUI .....

WHAT IS FENG SHUI ?

Feng Shui is basically a Chinese skill or practice of positioning substances, particularly graves, buildings and furniture, so that the utmost concord is achieved between the flow of ‘CHI’ of the environment and that of the user.

It is also believed to bring good fortune.

Feng Shui is related to the concept of ‘YIN-YANG’ and ‘CHI’.

YIN AND YANG- This symbol represents the ancient Chinese understanding of how things work. The outer circle represents ‘everything’, while the black and white shapes,  within the circle represents the interaction of two energies – Yin (black) and Yang (white).

Yin would be dark, passive, downward, cold, contracting and weak, while Yang would be bright, active, upward, hot, expanding and strong. Both are mutually arising, interdependent and continuously transforming.

CHI- Everything in creation is made up of electromagnetic energy vibrating at different frequencies that correspond to sound, light and color. The existence of electromagnetic field around every object, known as ‘Aura”, is a scientifically proven fact. The Chinese refer to this energy as ‘Chi’. 

It is the vital life force of the universe. It flows through the pathways of all living forms in order to maintaining health and wellness, mentally, physically and emotionally.

Historically, Feng Shui was extensively used to learn about buildings – often spiritually momentous structures such as tombs and sometimes dwellings as well. 

The aim of Feng Shui is to create a living and working (and dying- Feng shui is for graveyards too ) environment in harmony with nature and the flow of energy. Proper practice of Feng Shui is meant to maintain good health, wealth, relationships, creativity and more.

IMPORTANCE OF COLORS IN FENG SHUI:- Every association you have with a color, contributes in some way to how you are. That is why colors play a meaningful role within the practice of Feng Shui. It is very essential for you to understand why toning down or playing up essential feng shui colors in your home will help you to achieve your goals.

Feng shui colors affect people physically, emotionally and psychologically. The right use of feng shui colors can do wonders to your home or office. We are all in love with colors in more or less predictable ways. Feng shui takes the use of colors to the next level, where each color brings the desired feng shui energies to a space, the energies needed to bring harmony and balance. By using just one color or by combining two or more colors, you can strengthen the elements of feng shui.                                                                                                                                                                                                    

Feng shui colors are divided into- cool (Yin) and warm (yang)                        areas.Yin (cool) colors bring healing and relaxation. Some of the Yin colors are:-

BLUE:- It is an excellent color for your home (you can chose any shade of blue). Light blue clears thought, scatters negative energy and helps to cope with negative emotional state. Light blue would be favorable for children above 7 as it helps them to discover their hidden talents and abilities. Dark blue improves intuition and light blue activates mental abilities of people. It is calm and soothing color as it has Yin energy. It reflects love, peace and trust. It is also associated with adventure and exploration.  A good combination would be blue with green or white. This combination could be used for study, office or children’s room (especially for calming down overactive kids).

   

BLACK :-  Black color in feng shui symbolizes money, income, great careers ( especially in metals), emotional protection and power. Black is full of mystery and sophistication. It add depth and strength and brings feng shui energy of grounding and stability. You can use black color indoors but it should not be higher than the eye level. You can also add black in the shape of furniture, photo frames or mirrors with black frame.

PURPLE :- Purple is excellent for physical and mental healing and is associated with spiritual awareness. This color generates good ‘Chi’ and therefore adds extra energy. It is a stimulating color, so it’s better not to use purple in bathrooms and kitchen.   It is an outstanding color to add to your house, living room and office, particularly for power positions like an owner of any company or principal etc. In fact, purple clothes or ties will be good for anyone dealing with money. Purple and its shades are brilliant for stimulating good luck. It is good when paired with white, gold or silver.

WHITE :- White represents poise, confidence, purity, focus, intensity and creativity. Feng shui advises to use this color in combination with gold or silver to generate a calm atmosphere. It is a wonderful color for kitchen or an art studio. But stay away from white if you are overly critical or have trouble expressing affection.


                                                                                                                                    PINK :- Pink is sedating and calming. It symbolizes love and romance. This universal color of love will suit almost anywhere from bedroom to laundry room. But keep in mind that too much of pink becomes feminine. It will also weaken the muscles.

GREEN :- Green is the feng shui color of renewal, energy, regeneration and nourishment. Have different colors of green in order to maximize the feng shui energy. Green has a psychological effect. It is calming, balancing, healing, relaxing and tranquilizing. Use it in following locations- skill/knowledge areas, family/elders areas or in health areas. It would be particularly beneficial in bathrooms as it promotes peacefulness and purification. It also marks a new beginning.

Yang (warm) colors provide enthusiasm and positive energy which is required to achieve something or to be motivated.

YELLOW:- It is an auspicious color in Feng Shui. Yellow represents warmth, cheerfulness and friendliness. However, too much of intense yellow can cause anxiety. Yellow color encourages hope and optimism. Infact, any surrounding enriched with yellow will make people more talkative and outgoing.

ORANGE:-  Feng shui says color orange strengthens your concentration 
and enhances creativity power. Orange represents knowledge and
 activity. You can go for orange accessories for decorating office,
 home and study as excess of this color (on walls) is not good.






BROWN:- Brown represents feng shui element of wood and is excellent for main entry, kitchen or as a feature wall in the living room or bedroom. But avoid dark brown shade in children’s room and southwest area of your house. A good idea would be to use brown, well balanced with other colors.

RED:- Red is the strongest feng shui color and represents fire. Red brings energy, joy, activeness, power, passion, excitement, and stimulates the sexual desire. It also represents luck and happiness in Chinese culture, marriage color in India and it’s a symbolic color of love and romance, courage and passion. Red generates the energy of arousal. It is hot, passionate, rich and celebratory. But red has fire element, which could both be creative as well as destructive. 

However, a balanced feng shui will bring joy and excitement. Also, if used too much, it can bring restlessness, sudden spurt of anger and over excitement. Therefore use it sensibly. Another option could be to bring red in your home décor rather than with furnishings or wall color.

MAUVE:- It is the color of world consciousness.

MAROON:- Maroon is neither red nor blue. It represents indecisiveness.

LAVENDER:- It is the color of sexual indecision.

GOLD:- Gold is the color of God consciousness.

Colors and feng shui also have a lot to do with the direction in which our home sits. There are different colors that feng shui defines for the use in exterior façade of your house.  The guiding principle of using Feng Shui colors could be to achieve balance rather than excess. Right blend of colors could do magic to your house and office.

So lets be clear, do not over do the colors by painting an entire wall. A good thumb rule  would be to use these colors in combination with whites, light or earthy tone colors. You can also use colored pillows, bedsheets, picture frames, drapes, rugs etc. to enhance feng shui colors.

STRESS- someone rightly said that stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of mental illness. Frustation, irritation, uneasiness and restlessness are some of the by-products of anxiety. It is how your body reacts to mental, physical or emotional circumstances. Stress disturbs the normal functioning of the body. All of us experience stress at some or the other time in our lives. In other words, everyone have their own stress moments. But stress is not always negative. It all depends on how you deal with it. However, extreme or long-drawn-out  stress could be fatal.

REASONS FOR STRESS........

........AT HOME

• Death of near and dear one.
• Injury, health problem or illness in the family.
• Marriage issues.
• Seperation or divorce from partner.
• Pregnancy.
• Poor educational performance of kids.
• Hyperactive or rampant kids.
• Sexual harassment
• Heated argument or a spat with someone at home or outside.
• Shortage of funds to meet daily and necessary expenses or sometimes unexpected expenses.
• Money loss.
• Change of place, city or country.

........AT WORK

• To meet growing demands of the job.
• Peer pressure.
• Relationship with Boss, colleagues and juniors.
• Meet deadlines.
• Working overtime and on holidays.
• Extended working hours.
• Low salary.
• Promotion.
• Argument or spat with boss or co workers.
• Change of job.
• Work against will.
• Harassment.
• Petty office politics.

........OTHER REASONS

• Any kind of setback.
• Fear- irregular or continuous
• Uncertainty about life or future.
• Any kind of threat.
• Lack of sleep

STRESS SYMPTOMS

NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF STRESS

STRESS CONTRIBUTES TO:-

1. Vulnerable immune system
2. Social Isolation
3. High Blood Pressure
4. Heart problems
5. Eating disorders
6. Headache
7. Insomnia
8. Constipation
9. Rashes
10. Fatigueness
11. Skin diseases
12. Sex problems
13. Depression
14. Migraine
15. Yawning
16. Dry throat/mouth
17. Clenching teeth
18. Shorter life span
19. Strokes
20. Breathing problems

STRESS MANAGEMENT

First and foremost, recognize your stress........

Next, identify the sources of stress......

Lastly, try to cope with your stress.......

Learn healthy ways to cope up with stress instead of unhealthy ways like smoking, taking drugs or pills to relax, drinking, taking out your frustation on others, sleeping too much, over or under eating. We have to understand that these strategies will just give short term relief but in long run they will prove to be futile. 

SO HOW TO DEAL WITH STRESSFUL SITUATION.......

...................TRY - " B.R.E.A.D.S"

There will be lot of times in life when everything seems to be going haywire. In situations like this, where you have to pass the 'acid test' of life or in any other testing time, best remedy is to change the way you look at the situation or problem. 

HOW??????...... Well, AVOID THE STRESSOR AND ALTER IT !

Avoid 'hot-button' topics

learn to say 'no'

Be vocal about your feelings ( share with someone)

Do time management

Be firm and assertive

Be positive and optimistic

Reframe your problems

Accept the changes and things you can't change 

Take out time for fun and relaxation like go for a walk, talk to your friend, listen to music or watch movies, read a nice 'self help' book, exercise, do yoga or meditation etc.

Keep your sense of humor alive

Adopt a healthy lifestyle. 

Avoid alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.

Get enough sleep

Niggling worries are a curse for a happy and healthy life. We definitely feel better when we share our feeling with someone whom we trust. But the best way to analyse your life, your problems and other issues is to have a retrospection..............

Start maintaining a "Stress or Reflection Journal". It will help you to retrospect the incidents that took place and recognize the stressor. eg.

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

      

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Here is an excerpt from a book which I would like to share with you all:-

 A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience raised a glass of water and asked, “how heavy is this glass of water?” Answers called out ranged from 20g to 500g. The lecturer replied, “The absolute weight doesn’t matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.”

“If I hold it for a minute, that’s not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance. “In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.”

He continued, “And that’s the way it is with stress management. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on.” “As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again. When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the burden.”

“So, before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down. Don’t carry it home. You can pick it up tomorrow. Whatever burdens you’re carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.” “Relax; pick them up later after you’ve rested. Life is short. Enjoy it!

And then he shared some ways of dealing with the burdens of life:

§  Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.

§  Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

§  Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

§  If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

§  It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

§  Never buy a car you can’t push.

§  Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

§  Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

§  When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

§  Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

§  You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

§  Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names, and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box